| |
|
The bond between mother and child is so often romanticized that certain aspects are not recognized for what they are. The maternal bond is more than loving concern and self sacrifice on the part of the mother. It is often a sense on the part of the mother that the child is simply an extension of the self. This aspect of motherhood is assumed to be a projection of the mother’s personality, due to a dictatorial nature taking the opportunity to establish a master-slave relationship. Dictatorial and controlling mothers may or may not see the child as an extension of the self, but most often simply see an opportunity to establish a dictatorship. Mothers who blur the line between their identity and the identity of the child are characterized by a weak personality, one that seeks to ally with others to bolster itself. This is the person who will become the clinging wife, the obedient disciple, or the member who joins groups only for a sense of belonging.
When such a weak individual becomes a mother, it is the mother who clings to the child, not the child to the mother. The child can hardly protest, as such clinging is not evident to strangers, who often see nothing more than what they would call devotion or interest on the part of the mother. Where such mother-child relationships exist, the child often develops a strong urge to bolt, and does so at the earliest opportunity. They leave home, decisively, and refuse to return. On occasion the confused identity the mother imposes on her relationship with her children takes disastrous turns, shocking those who cannot comprehend the outcome. If the mother is suicidal, she may take her little ones with her into death, despite their cries. In her mind, if she wishes death then they must too, as they are she and she is them - the maternal bond gone awry.